I am a Dad.

That is a simple statement that brings a lot of responsibility with it.  So I understand the concern when parents ask me what they can to do when it comes to their kids and the web.  I can see it in their face.  The knee-jerk reaction is always to “stifle” or “prevent” kids from surfing the web, but that is not what I do with our kids, and that is not the advice I give other parents.

Now I am a Christian, but I make it a point not to be a moralist.  What that means is that I don’t force my moral values upon other people, but that being said I do allow my moral compass to direct me in all aspects of my life including the advice that I give.  I won’t get into OUR “style” of parenting, but I can say that we are Parents to our children, not their friend.

Kids get curious. 

Whether it’s the web, cutting class, alcohol, or drugs, etc., they get curious.  We did it as kids, why would we expect anything different from our kids?  When I talked to my kids about it, I told them 2 things:

• I explain to my two girls that there is good stuff and bad stuff on the web. 
• In that discussion, I let them know that I can see EVERYTHING that they do on the computer. 

Once those two statements are drilled into their mushy little skulls, I tell them that they may come across bad or scary stuff on the internet - and if so, they need to tell Mom or Dad.  If it happens, it happens…just tell us.  The circumstances of not telling us are NOT GOOD!  I want them to feel free to explore, but I don’t want them HIDING anything from me.

Now little kids (4-10yrs) are easy, typically you can just setup a shortcut to Disney.com or Cartoon Network.com and that will keep them pretty happy.  Those sites are very “kid-centric” and I consider them pretty safe.  Older kids (starting around 9 or 10 years old) like to EXPLORE the web.  They like to get into chat rooms or social sites like Facebook and MySpace and interact with their friends and meet new friends.  They also like to download music and videos regardless of whether it’s free or stolen.  (Note: This is how computers get completely screwed up with viruses, etc.  Click here to learn how to protect your computer from bad stuff)  Now we have RULES that we impose, and they are NON-NEGOTIABLE with our kids.  You may need to modify these depending on your kids and your parenting style. 

Here are the RULES that I recommend:

1. Search the kids surfing history.  KNOWhow to search the history on the computer.  It’s easy, it only takes a little time to learn, and once your kid see’s that you know how to check…it firms up their belief that they can’t just surf without accountability.
   • “I don’t know anything about computers…” DO NOT USE THIS EXCUSE!!!  This isn’t Voodoo! Take a little time to learn!  It’s all on the web.  Go to GOOGLE, search for “How To Find Windows History” and start reading.
   • Try this link for starters http://www.webwisekids.org/ 
2. If your child joins a site like Facebook, you need to join it as well and make them add you as a friend.  THIS IS NOT A LICENSE TO SNOOP!  Your job as a parent is PROTECTION, not digging in your kids privacy.  If your child feels like you are, they will just open another account that you don’t know about and keep you out of the loop.
3. I set designated times for the kids to be on the computer/internet.  Any other access must go through me or my wife.

My kids understand the consequences for not following the rules.  It is important to hold your kids accountable!

As a parent, you need to learn about SOCIAL NETWORKING SITES.  Learn how sites like Facebook, MySpace, etc. work.  Learn what the dangers are.  Make it your job to understand what your kid is getting into!  This is the toughest part, because there is always a new one out there.

The Key is to know the dangers to your children, and to take the necessary steps to prevent them.  No excuses.  If you care about your kids, take the time to learn and understand the threats that are out there and how to protect them.

From a Parent, to a parent.